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  • MISSIO - I Don't Even Care About You

Xehara last won the day on January 16

Xehara had the most liked content!

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  1. Tucked inside a sleeping bag that rests among fallen leaves on a hill, the following letters can be found. Derek, The plan is to take a vacation to Dolnik and be back in a week or so. Not sure if that's enough time, never been through this before if I'm honest. Took me years to let go of my parents but, that's strikingly different. If I don't check in in some capacity in a week, radio or a letter or even in person, then you can assume I'm lost. Or just fucked off. Whatever makes it easier, I suppose. Or maybe I'm back already and I'm just not ready to show my face. Ironic how the mind works to push people away when you feel lonely, only feeding further into that loneliness. Is it better to be isolated or feel the heart burn? We'll find out I guess. Also, don't bother going by my place. Some really scary Russian woman took it over and I forgot to remove the meat before I left, she likely isn't going to be in the best mood. See you in a week, maybe. -Syrean
  2. I have no idea where Lincoln is, but this makes it easier for him to not think twice about me leaving. Ivan will be there to claim he saw me even if he hasn't, just so he never has to feel that pain of not knowing again. I can't be the stand-in for loves he's lost in any form it may come, but I can't hurt him either. I suppose I'm selfish with punishment, hoarding it all for myself. I'm better as a ghost, thought of less and less until I vanish from their existence. Every thing is temporary.
  3. Xehara

    "Need help"

    Ava fiddled with the dials on the transceiver before finally figuring out how it worked so she could respond instead of just listen, her voice was quite clear. "Yes, I've met her. You must be who I was meant to give this thing to. She said to apologize for not transmitting, there was a storm that blew out her equipment. I had to find a battery to put in this thing myself. I had your location written down but, same storm got it too wet to read. Mind giving directions? I'm uh... Near trees."
  4. Space, isolation, whatever it is you choose to call it, I'm taking my fill. Distance so I can center myself, rebuild my composure, and forget the fever dream. My father was a prime example of how one-sided relationships can be. Hopefully he's as ignorantly blissful as my father once was, as long as he's happy. If only it was a simple as cutting out the heart to rid the infection, but time will mend it well. Wasn't anything serious, just a blip of hope and second thoughts. I hate being right. Left a new hunting knife at Lisa's door, already fulfilled the promise of tranquility, time for this fairy godmother to find the next person in need. I'll probably monitor for longer this time before approaching. I just have to change the code so only she has access, and return my something borrowed. Everything is temporary.
  5. I'm sure I misread. The words mixed and mingled like a form of temporary dyslexia, forming something from nothing, at least for one side. As if the narrative was simply rewritten with red lines stricken through my parts. It was like being home. The one run down home on the block with a bright red door, muddied boots resting by the door and a fresh kill hanging in the back yard ready to be skinned. Delusional as I now seem, I know what I heard and saw. I guess I understand my father more now, why he worked so hard to earn her love knowing he was her second choice. He deserved more, we all deserve more, but reality rarely lives up to expectations. An intermission, interlude, a moment of reprieve to calm the pained heart until another could bring it solace. If I hadn't been so delayed to respond, to process, to turn off all of the alarms in my head warning me not to proceed... I hear the south is ripe with wolves this time of year.
  6. I'd describe him as weak on first, second, and third glance. Deals are deals, no room to dilute reality with fantasies or fairy-tales, but he is at least worth a second transaction. Perhaps he's only wearing the sheep's clothing, deceptive enough to fool me at least. I'll pay closer attention from now on, he certainly has. Able to guess my measurements from a glance, or he studied my body more than I knew during our prior meetings. I need to relocate my family, but once I assure they are safe I will have to investigate this tailor further.
  7. @Shikaka @The Marshal @McNasty @Bravo343 @Chaostica @simon and @Yoshi (my favorite number is actually 7) Thanks for the RP, it's always fun!
  8. Everyone has someone. A friend, a lover, a companion. People to ride over country sides to retrieve them, people mourning a knife because it's no longer in another's hand. I linger on the sides of walls, listening for clues of who to be or what to say to try to fit in. Charm and social grace worn like a mask to weave in and out of whatever situation befalls me. Everyone has a goal centered around themselves, a normal thing and regrettably unavoidable. I just want to belong somewhere, to find a home, but I avoid such things at the same time. Arms length, never any closer. Always a stranger passing through, a fly on the wall, a moment of comfort between periods of meaning. I would walk past the ruble on my way to my cave for years, standing there across the street hoping the house might rebuild itself, my dad's car would pull up to the drive, and my mom would carry the smallest grocery bag possible inside. They weren't gone, they were just delayed. I waited for years in disbelief, stuck in denial. They're just gone. No storm clouds overhead, no deep meaning, no empowering lesson. Just overwhelming silence and solitude.